Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

Snow White

I just watched Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs all the way through for the first time.

This Walt Disney animated film was released 77 years ago in 1937.

This film cost $1.4M dollars to make in 1937 and earned $184,925,486 (domestic) that year.

Adjusted for inflation this means Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs made $867,640,000 in today’s dollars.

That is more than Avatar’s $774,151,900 domestic gross. Aside from the technical achievement, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is an astonishing film.

A masterpiece by any definition, in every category.


Simply wow!

As for the Walt Disney brand these many decades past the life and virtuous goals of its founder, the apple has certainly fallen very far from the tree.

The Mansions of the Father

  1. “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
  2. “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
  3. “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
  4. “And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.”
  5. Thomas saith unto him, “Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?”
  6. Jesus saith unto him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

The Gospel of John

Spiritual Improvements

Because Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu masters are, well, Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu masters, they are already in the 99.9th percentile of all enlightened beings in the universe. Whereas this is naturally awesome, it does limit their options for reincarnation.

When a Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu master obtains his Infinity Sash, it is a reward for a benevolent life lived in the selfless aid of others.

An example would be: assassinating tens of thousands of rival martial art masters and slaughtering their infidel students, disciples, and pupils whose inferior kung fu—let’s face it—is no good.

The Infinity Sash looks like the Bifrost bridge out of the Thor movies—like fiber-optic frets on a rainbowy guitar neck—except you can wear it. Naturally, the Infinity Sash is invisible to normal people.

Of course, there are an infinite number of Infinity Sashes so earning them all takes a while—usually about six months.

Being in the 99.9th percentile, a Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu master can only be reincarnated into a something more amazing than himself. Thus, his only options are:

  1. William Shatner;
  2. any member of the legendary rock-n-roll band Led Zeppelin;
  3. Mad Max;
  4. a Hydra; and of course
  5. the Silver Surfer

Crime On Tap

When justifying the slow choke of personal liberties, increased and invasive surveillance, the eventual seizure of personal assets and accounts, and the militarization of non-military bureaucracies and police departments…

In the fair court of public opinion, one must at least appear to be countering criminal threats and elements.

So, when the statistics don’t add up and you are tens of thousands of malefactors (other than those in your own administration, of course) short…

You merely release some: